The greatest challenge that we encounter in our relationships is the lack of receptivity in our fraternal corrections. Sometimes, our ego does not allow us to accept those corrections for our own good and put them into practice. As a result, we keep a distance from that person or completely cut them off. It can result in a complete breakdown of communion between two people. However, the way we correct also matters. If we can convince the person that you are trying to help that person become a better person, we may be able to succeed in this effort. In today’s gospel, we see that Jesus gives us effective means to build good relationships and remain in communion.
If someone makes a mistake against us, Jesus encourages us to strike up a dialogue with that person exclusively. If the dialogue is fruitful, that person will understand his/her failures. If the person remains stubborn and holds on to his/her failures, then the next step that Jesus suggests is to invite one or two witnesses and have a dialogue in their presence. If their presence and perspectives are also not helping the person realise his/her mistakes, then the third stage of the reconciliation process is to involve the church or the community of believers. Even still, the problem can’t be sorted out. Jesus tells us to treat that person like a gentile or tax collector.
Jews distanced themselves from the gentiles and the tax collectors. Both groups were impure categories for them. However, Jesus is not asking them to follow the common norms of the time; instead, he is telling them how he himself treated the gentiles and the tax collectors. In the gospels, we see how Jesus treats the gentile person, like the Syro-Phoenician woman, the Samaritan woman, the symbolism of the Samaritan in the parable of the good Samaritan, etc. Jesus also had a special predilection for the so-called tax collectors. He even chose one of his close collaborators, Matthew, from the group of tax collectors. Jesus reached out to Zacchaeus, visited his family, and dined with him. Jesus teaches us that we should not abandon anyone, even when all our efforts seem to have failed. We should be able to remain open to accepting the person when he/she realises his/her mistake and gets back to us.
Sometimes we may think that if the correction is so complicated, then why do we need to correct? In the first reading taken from the book of prophet Ezekiel, we see the Lord telling prophet Ezekiel that brotherly correction is the Lord’s demand; if one fails to correct the other because of personal negligence, the responsibility for his/her failure is not upon that person but on the person who was responsible to correct that person and failed in this regard. If we made an attempt, even if that person did not turn away, we would not be responsible for that person. That person would be held responsible. We may also think that if someone is not listening or not interested in remaining in communion with us, why can’t we completely cut down our relationship with them? In the second reading taken from the letter of St. Paul to the Romans, we find the answer to this: “Owe no one anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” (Rom.13:8) St. Augustine says: “you have to forget the hurt you have received, not the wound of your brother.” As we continue our discipleship journey, let us imbibe the mind of Christ and grow as persons of communion and reconciliation, even when the situation is not favourable. Let love reign in our hearts and wait for Jesus’ time. Let these words guide in our fraternal corrections “Everyone, aware of their limitations and defects, is called to welcome fraternal correction and help others with this particular service.” (Benedict XVI)